What her father said made sense, in a strange way. At least Charlie felt a sense of peace in knowing she had not been alone in being a pawn. Her own lack of control in her life would help her in gaining the family magic, it seemed. Provided she had the ability to use such magics in the first place. That was still her greatest concern, and something she hoped Vioroll would never discover about her. Her immense lack of magic. Perhaps it had come from the mother she never knew. Maybe that is why the woman was never spoken of. Had she tainted Charlie in such a way that made her completely useless as heir to the throne?
It would be just her luck.
"I think I understand," she replied, swallowing the lump of fear that had lodged itself in her throat. Show no fear. No hesitation. I will not be a disappointment. "I at least know I have a firm understanding of what my magic will be taking away from another..." Her voice quivered. Though she hoped it wouldn't fill whomever she controlled with the same sense of anxiety she felt daily. That was a feeling she wouldn't wish upon anyone... It was a hard feeling to ignore, even now the crushing weight on her chest made it hard to breathe, and each breath she took was brought on only by a conscious reminder that Charlie did in fact need to breathe in order to live. It was an exhausting thing to manage, and even more exhausting were the torrent of thoughts that never seemed to quiet.
Disappointment. The look of shame of Vioroll's face at her inevitable failure.
War was life. To control war meant to control life itself. But how would her magic manifest itself? "How did your parents use control magic?" Charlie hoped that in understanding the previous lords use of the power, she too would be able to better understand herself. Anything to prolong the inevitable conversation in which she'd reveal to her father her lack of magical prowess. The thought of that very conversation alone turned her blood to ice. Surely he'd disown her. Charlie would be cast out, stripped of her title and made into a tale used to keep future war generations obedient. She gripped at her chest, gaze fixed on the water in the pool as she tried desperately not to scream.
Her aunt's joy as she was cast out. Disappointment.
I will not be a disappointment. I will not be a disappointment. Disappointment disappointment I'm a disappointment.
There was too much pressure. She was drowning, being crushed. Her shallow breaths quickened, her lungs struggling to expand under the weight of her own constricting rib cage. Training hadn't even begun and she was falling apart. Disappointment. Keep it together. Don't let Father see her weakness; don't let him see your fear.
I can't do it.
It would be just her luck.
"I think I understand," she replied, swallowing the lump of fear that had lodged itself in her throat. Show no fear. No hesitation. I will not be a disappointment. "I at least know I have a firm understanding of what my magic will be taking away from another..." Her voice quivered. Though she hoped it wouldn't fill whomever she controlled with the same sense of anxiety she felt daily. That was a feeling she wouldn't wish upon anyone... It was a hard feeling to ignore, even now the crushing weight on her chest made it hard to breathe, and each breath she took was brought on only by a conscious reminder that Charlie did in fact need to breathe in order to live. It was an exhausting thing to manage, and even more exhausting were the torrent of thoughts that never seemed to quiet.
Disappointment. The look of shame of Vioroll's face at her inevitable failure.
War was life. To control war meant to control life itself. But how would her magic manifest itself? "How did your parents use control magic?" Charlie hoped that in understanding the previous lords use of the power, she too would be able to better understand herself. Anything to prolong the inevitable conversation in which she'd reveal to her father her lack of magical prowess. The thought of that very conversation alone turned her blood to ice. Surely he'd disown her. Charlie would be cast out, stripped of her title and made into a tale used to keep future war generations obedient. She gripped at her chest, gaze fixed on the water in the pool as she tried desperately not to scream.
Her aunt's joy as she was cast out. Disappointment.
I will not be a disappointment. I will not be a disappointment. Disappointment disappointment I'm a disappointment.
There was too much pressure. She was drowning, being crushed. Her shallow breaths quickened, her lungs struggling to expand under the weight of her own constricting rib cage. Training hadn't even begun and she was falling apart. Disappointment. Keep it together. Don't let Father see her weakness; don't let him see your fear.
I can't do it.
