Command and Control

Was he stupid? Or just trying to piss her off?

If so, he'd succeeded.

Charlie's red eyes narrowed, and beneath her mask she snarled. If Vioroll wanted stubborn, oh, she'd show him stubborn!

It was as if something within her snapped, releasing a flood of resentment and rage that she'd bottled up. The demon princess was on her feet in a split second, spraying gravel behind her.

"I said stop talking about her! So just shut up!" The words slipped over her tongue effortlessly, but the voice that carried them felt alien and strange. It resonated with more power, and sounded as though there were several of her speaking the same thing. Something inside of Charlie urged her on, to just let it all out.

And who was she to ignore that?

"I'm so sick of you not listening to me! Do you have any idea how stressful it is trying to live up to the impossible standards of this family? I'm wasting away because of my anxiety! I'm so afraid of failing you both that I can't eat! I can't sleep! It's no wonder that I sneak away just to try and feel normal for once in my fucking life! And instead of leaving me alone to just try and think for one god's damned minute, you come waltzing in and dredging up things I'm clearly uncomfortable about! Gods, if you were trying to piss me off? Congratu-fucking-lations, Father! You did it!" Charlie finished her rant, panting, with clenched, trembling fists.

Vioroll would have replied, but the sudden outburst of power drew him short. His mouth clenched shut, following the command. Even as the power pushed against him, though, his power fought back. The warring energies caused him to stumble, and he found himself on his knees before his daughter.

It took a few moments of effort, leaving him panting, but he managed to regain control of his mouth. "When... have you ever failed me?"

Why was he on the ground? Had her words shaken him that much? No, if it had been that simple, he likely would have said more... so what happened?

She laughed at his words before she could even stop herself. "I haven't failed you, don't you see? In my desperation to please you, to earn your love and praise, I've set up an impossible standard for myself. I haven't failed... but the possibility... the idea of it..." She felt the sting of hot tears streak down her cheeks, where they were absorbed by his mask, but they were quick to pass. Charlie wouldn't allow herself to cry in front of Vioroll. Not ever again.

"Is that really all you have to say to me?"

He struggled for a moment more, his mouth working as he fought with the words. "Why do you feel like you have to earn my love?"

"Are you stupid or were you just not paying attention at all while I was growing up?" Charlie spat, her shoulders tight and bunched up as she clenched her fists. Her face and ears burned, both in anger and despair, and the lump in her throat was becoming physically painful to talk past. It felt like a hot stone had been stuffed into her mouth, and she was unable to swallow it or spit it back.

After a few rapid breaths and frantic passes through her hair, Charlie began to speak again, her voice tight, "I had to do everything perfectly before you would let me stop! There were days on end where you wouldn't let me sleep until I'd perfected a stance or maneuver! You were so cold and distant with me that I didn't know whether you were proud of my accomplishments or just absolutely hated having me around, like training me was some sort of obligation you were forced to do... You made me feel like if I was anything less than perfect that you and Auntie wouldn't even give me the time of day! Everything became a test I couldn't fail!" Her voice broke as the tears began to fall hot and fast down her cheeks again. "Romule was the only one who would give me support unconditionally, Dad, don't you know? Were you not aware of how conditional your affections were? Or do you just not care? Do you... d-do you--"

The lump in her throat bobbed as she struggled to get the words out. Shoulder trembling, she wrapped her arms around her chest, as if to protect her heart from breaking any more. It hurt to draw breath with her ribs pressing against her tight skin; it felt like only a matter of time before either her ribs broke or her skin tore.

"Do you regret me, Dad?" The words were so faint Charlie wasn't sure whether she had spoken them or not. She stared at Vioroll through cloudy, watery eyes as everything crashed over her at once. All her fears and insecurities; everything she'd been fighting to contain had finally bubbled up. Her knees gave out, and as she sank back to the gravel the demon buried her face in her hands and began to cry harder than she'd cried in years. The anger had melted away, leaving nothing but despair in its place.

Vioroll watched her silently as she broke down. There wasn't much he could say, even as her power slipped from him. She had thought he valued her so lowly? He'd have to find a way to make it up to her at some point. Still, once she got it all out, he could point out that her magic had worked, and that would be a step in the right direction.

"Do you regret me, Dad?" Vioroll suddenly looked up. Was that what she really thought? He didn't even need to think about what to do next. He closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around her, patting her back gently and letting her vent out her despair. "I have never regretted you. Not once. You have always made me proud."

Charlie's body stiffened at his touch. The gesture was so foreign that it robbed her of her breath, leaving her sputtering. She hurt too much to back away, her strength stripped away by the weight of her crushing despair, so her arms fell limp by her sides in her father's embrace.

"Then why," she croaked, "why were you so distant? Why was everything a test..." Her voice was hoarse and raspy. Even the effort burned her throat. "I don't understand!"

"Everything was a test because of what you are. You are a Royal of War, and I would prefer you to deal with hardship early so you won't later. You are stronger for it, strong enough to survive when I'm gone. And... I will be gone. That is inevitable. I am your aunt's shield, and I will fall before she does. When that happens, you need to be strong enough on your own. And you are." He simply held her, trying to calm her down. "Romule had more freedom with you than I ever had. But, like I said, I have never not been proud of you."

His voice went a little quieter. "I thought you knew." He sounded more like he was blaming himself for everything.

"Stronger for it?" She croaked. "Stronger for it!?" Charlie spat out a clipped laugh, shoulder shaking. "I feel as though I'm crumbling, Father! But I am not allowed to know weakness or failure, so what am I to do except swallow it down until all that remains in me is this pit of fear? I am nothing but a mask of who you wanted me to be, and behind that mask... behind it I... I-I..." She couldn't even bear to put the rest of her thoughts to words. Charlie broke out of her father's embrace and turned away from him.

"How am I supposed to know the things you've never once spoken? I'm not a mind reader, Father. If you wanted me to be strong... you should have built me up with support from you. From family..."

"From family? Like your aunt? She may be my sister, but I am not blind to her faults." He hesitated a moment. "I... have not been a great father. I will admit this. When you were born, your mother and I hoped..." He winced and cut himself off again. "I do love you, even if I'm not good at showing it." He spoke slowly, as if the words were a great effort.