[M] Until Silence Is Broken

"I don't cuddle... At all. The most affection I give is to my son and that is cause he doesn't have a mother to give it. I don't tend to show those things you seem to want or expected me to show. I'm more into giving a hard lecture or showing how strong I can stand verses giving a loving and touching moment that you were expecting. I was raised to not expect such things but I see you were not," he said looking at her. He hadn't known. Hell his mother had barely given him any lover. Being a former angel, his mother had been consumed by the darkness that had turned her and went dark before he was even born. He didn't know how to act towards a woman because the mother he had had was so strong and sure of herself that she never needed to stand behind his father or hide there. He didn't understand why she wanted it or seemed to need it so bad and he sighed.

He looked away from her knowing he had hurt her now. He hadn't meant to. It just was he wasn't use to anyone fragile. The concept was foreign to him. "Look I know I cannot make this up to you with a I'm sorry. How about instead you be my date to the Dieuxe Maere festival? It is the biggest festival of the year and you should have fun there."

Lia stared at him. She didn't expect to hear what he said. More so a rejection, but instead he was telling her why he was acting how he had, but it still hurt her. Not only that, he assumed he knew what her life was. Not only that, but shown love. It hurt her more than the rest of it. Her eyes were filled with hurt, but anger as well. How dare he think he knew her now. Not only that, but to invite her to the festival? She could see he was trying, but she was already hurt enough for one day. "You know nothing about me," she growled at him no longer too happy to see him.

"I'll think about it." It was all she said before she retreated back into her room. She wanted to be left alone. He knew nothing about her past and she didn't know love. It was why she craved it. The festival would be the only way to get out for awhile, but at the moment she didn't want to see him. Lia got back into her bed and curled herself under the blankets.

"I never said I did," he said back to her giving her a glare. He was rather annoyed that she thought he thought he did. "All I said was I didn't know you wanted affection or comfort. I was not raised that way to want that, so no I wasn't going to give something I didn't know you wanted." He didn't know why she had to overreact. It was somewhat annoying. He didn't enter the room for fear she'd throw something and he really didn't want to deal with a tantrum, but instead stood where he was finding it 'safer'.

His amber eyes rolled. Oh she'll think about it. That was really great. He offered to take her out on a date to try to apologize and get to actually know her and she didn't want to be bothered it seemed. "Well if you're really concerned I don't know you then why don't you try to tell me about you or at least let me get to know you instead of shutting me out."

"What do you want from me," she cried out at him, half attempting to growl, but at that point she was just hurt. She had no idea what to say, what to do, and honestly was so lost. She couldn't hide from him, she couldn't leave if she wanted to. He told her he knew nothing. About affection yet it was what she wanted, or at least some assurance that they were okay. That he might have been interested. Not trying to make up for hurting her by taking her on a date if it really was one. She buried her head into her pillow weeping quietly to herself. This was what she was trying to avoid. The heartache and the pain.

"So what do you want Razor? Am I just your current toy to fuck when you want some satisfaction or do you actually like me?" She curled up tighter into a ball, trying to calm herself instead of breaking down.

He looked at her and perhaps for one of the few times in his life he was dumbstruck. He had no idea what to say or what to think. Was that what all this had been about my "Lia I didn't kick you from my room because I regretted my choice. I did it so my son wouldnt see and I could tell him when I was ready to.  I didn't want him to find out that way and I wanted to make sure we'd work before giving him any hope. I walked you back to your room because I enjoy your company very much and I just wanted to be near you even if it was as small at that," he told her. He couldn't believe she was so oblivious.

"Lia I like you and no not as a fuck toy. I have been trying to get to know you slowly and yes I enjoyed the sex but I had not planned to do it so soon. It just happened. I originally wanted to get to know you more first," he walked over to her and put his hand on her back and gently rubbed. "Calm down."

The girl tried to stifle her weeping a bit as she tried to calm down with little avail. It all had hurt so much. She nearly jumped as she felt his hand gently resting against her back as he tried to calm her. He did like her, she just couldn't see it but how was she supposed to know? He gave no indication and they hadn't talked until now. Even then it wasn't under the best of circumstances. Lia wiped away at the red stained tears that marked her face as she finally calmed down a bit. "I need you to communicate with me. Show something, anything that could hint that it's okay with us," she softly murmured as she sat back up; rubbing the last of the tears away.

"I can't tell what you're thinking. This is the first time we talked about what happened and I honestly thought you didn't care past what happened..." She thought him indifferent. She needed small emotional queues to emphasis that they were okay. Even his touch on her back calmed her a bit and assured her he cared. That was all she needed. Lia looked up to him. She felt like an idiot for not realizing this earlier.

The girl turned a bit to nuzzle into his side. He said he didn't cuddle, but she needed it right now. Even if he just sat there, she'd take what she could get. "I'm sorry... for everything..."

"I don't know why you would think that... If I thought you used or no longer needed I'd have gotten rid of you. It's not like that was why I bought you here you know," he said looking at her. "Honestly, you put things into your head that just don't make sense or have anything to go on besides your own fears for something I have no control over or why you have them. It's all in your head... You have to learn to silence the voices..." He wasn't sure what to do really. He wasn't use to comforting women. It wasn't something he had training in or could get... It was something that was a social skill. He hoped just this small touch was enough. What was he suppose to do? Why wasn't there a book on this? He blinked down at her. He wasn't mad, just conflicted on how to feel.

He just gently kept rubbing her back unsure of what else to do.

Lia took comfort in the small amount of affection he was showing. At least he was trying now despite saying before he did not know about it. The demoness leaned on him contently as she enjoyed the odd back rub he provided in his attempt to comfort her. He knew nothing of this and while her fears were valid, she just didn't know what he was thinking. She didn't have the luxury of being so confident with him around. She was just her and didn't know how to interact with him beyond how their were before their intimacy. "I know, but I don't have the same comfort of having people below me. You're above me Razor. I look up to you as my Lord, not someone I can even spend time like this with."

She looked up to him, resting her head lightly against his shoulder. "I'd love to still go with you to Dieuxe Maere if you'd still have me." She gave a faint smile at him. She hoped he still would take her. She understood if he didn't.

"Eh if I was considering you below me I wouldn't allow you to address me as you do," he told her slightly amused at how she seemed to worry over the small things. It was kind of endearing that she feared the things that were do small he never considered them. He stopped rubbing her back and looked at her with a knowing smile.

He didn't even know why it was a a question. "I would not allow anyone else to go with me. I only want you to go with me," he told her. "Now get some sleep. You have a lot of things happening tomorrow. I have to get you fitted and sized for a proper outfit for the festival. We're short on time so I will be using every second I do have to make sure you look amazing."

She gave a small smile back at him. He seemed to be so carefree about these things. Maybe it was best if she started to as well when it came to them and not analyze every little bit. His world was black and white or at least when it came to them. At least he was still fine with her going with him to the festival. It would be fun to get out and besides, it was their first official date now. The idea made her happier just thinking of the fun it would be, but she knew he would be more wary in comparison. For all she knew, she was still somewhat his prisoner and had to stay at the fortress when the day was over. That and he was his house's head. There was more expected from him than her, but she would adjust. This was what she got herself into, and she'd try to for him.

"Okay Razor," she replied a bit reluctantly. She wanted a few more moments with him even if it was just this. "...Would you like to stay the night? ... with me?" It was a long shot, but they already were past the whole sleeping in a bed together. They already had been intimate, but she understood if he wasn't as willing to stay.